Papa John’s Sticks It To Muslims, Here’s How They Did It

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A Muslim man has sued Papa Jones Pizza for giving him a pizza with pork on it when he had ordered beef toppings.

The Quran specifically forbids Muslims from eating pork, so instead of ordering a sausage pizza, proud Muslim Robert Mickles ordered one with beef. When it arrived, it looked like pieces of hamburger were on the pizza.

“I sat down and folded a big piece in half and stuck it in my mouth and began to chew and I noticed it tasted sour,” said Mickles, a 45-year-old free-lance cement finisher and Muslim of four years.

However, Mickles got the shock of his life when a friend tasted the pizza and said it was sausage. The Muslim then called Papa John’s to confront the manager, and it soon became clear that a mistake had occurred.

“Every once in a while you get somebody’s order wrong,” said Papa John’s manager Max Onwinsky. “But that’s going to happen. Mistakes happen. I’m not going to say we’re perfect.”

Mickles, however, was not nearly so nonchalant about the incident.

“Right now inside my body there’s a parasite growing that I’ll never be able to get rid of,” said Mickles. “And I’ve actually sinned in the eyes of God, because I was told not to eat it.”

“It’s probably hard for you to understand the Muslim way of thinking,” Mickles added. “We don’t question why God says don’t eat it. We just don’t do it … being a Muslim is not a religion, it’s a way of life.”

Mickles ended up suing Papa John’s for their mistake over a decade ago. Today, the story is going viral once again on the internet thanks to it’s newfound relevancy in today’s overly PC America.

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