An Open Letter To Shameless New Grandmother, Hillary Clinton

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Dear Ms. Clinton,

Congratulations! The arrival of your healthy baby granddaughter is a momentous occasion, for you and for the whole world watching. As you sit in a fancy private room, in one of the top hospitals in America (you know, the kind where you won’t be bothered by any low-income government leaches with the shitty health insurance they elected you to get), we all got a glimpse of the tiny miracle as you held her for the first time.


You’re still campaigning, even as you sit in a hospital room, moments after the birth of your first grandchild. A moment which most would consider a private, sacred time, you chose to publicize. This new baby has been a pawn in your tireless bid for the Presidency since the moment she was conceived. Some would say her birth is perfect timing. Now, you can show the world what a strong, yet nurturing, woman you are. The perfect person to rule the free world. You’re evil plan is fully underway.


You’ve said in the past that the decision of whether or not to run for President would be heavily influenced by your new role as grandmother. Indeed, the campaign trail would take you away from your precious granddaughter. You’d likely miss her first steps, her first word, and countless other milestones in her young life. It would probably be best for you – and for America – if you retired now.

You’ve done enough damage already. Go play dress up and have tea parties. Everyone will be better off.

Yours Truly,

A concerned American parent

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