Taking A Look At Last Year’s Accomplishments As Obama Turns 53
August 4, 2014 8:38am PST
Obama has been a busy, busy man and in honor of his birthday – he’s turning 53 today, you know – the staff here at Mr. Conservative decided it might be fun to look back on this last year and reminisce the many accomplishments of Barack Hussein Obama.
Now, despite what we Conservatives think, it wasn’t all vacations, golf and fundraising for Obama – that was a big part, but not all. There were actually many more ways in which Obama not only influenced life here in the United States, but life around the world.
The IRS unquestionably abused their authority and targeted tea-party political groups, but as Congress continues to move at a snail’s pace, things have been hard to prove. This was made even more difficult as the incompetence of Obama’s administration further clouted the investigation by miraculously losing Lois Lerner’s emails – whoopsie daisies.
Furthermore, it was revealed that Obama was so busy minding to other matters, that the lives of several veterans were mistakenly overlooked resulting in their deaths. Unfortunately for those veterans depending on the government just like the government once depended on them, the favor wasn’t returned and Obama yet again shrugged his shoulders – oh well.
One of the crises taking up the time of the President though, was that of the current influx of illegal aliens seeking to break our nation’s borders in hopes of being gifted citizenship. Trying to figure out how to best talk the GOP and the American people into doing just that is proving more difficult than he could have imagined which is actually diverting his attention from severely pressing matters. Matters, in fact, that prove just how busy he really is – hopefully though we can get that amnesty going seeing how much it will do for Democrats (but it’s not a partisan interest, honestly).
Showing just how stressful life in the Oval Office really is, tensions between America and Russia resemble that seen during the Cold War era. Obama however, has just so much more on his plate at the time though that he can’t focus all his attention on Putin making him come off as inferior. To make those matters all the worse, the mean ol’ GOP is taking advantage of all the hard work Obama is doing and is painting him as a fool for no good reason.
Fortunately for us, he’s about to redeem himself on the world’s stage as he attempt to juggle the crisis in Israel as well.
In order to gain a bit more appreciation from the public though he came up with an ingenious idea – the rescue of a POW. For this man’s life, a simple exchange was made for five Taliban members – I mean, heck, we had them lying around for YEARS now. Naysayers however turned the entire ordeal – on that should have made him appear a hero – around to say we gave away five terrorists and only got back a deserter, one that turned its back on America – the nerve.
Unfortunately, the ten years of progress America made fighting over in Iraq was completely lost, but oh well, it’s their problem now. The lives lost, blood shed and overall sacrifice made by soldiers was only further echoed by the whole VA mishap, but it’s only because everyone is always on his case about EVERYTHING.
There was a definite piece of good news to arise in the last year however – health insurance for all Americans. Alright, so about 6 million lost their health insurance because of Obamacare and we double counted the members that were already enrolled in Medicaid – but we came out with like 7 million total enrollees under the new mandate. The website kind of stunk, but that’s working pretty good now – only cost us a couple hundred million dollars too!
All that hard work doesn’t come without the dealing of the dreadful Congress and with a 6% approval rating, well, who could argue with that? Instead, Obama made the announcement that he had a phone and pen, and in reality, didn’t even need Congress anyways. Good for us, Obama can officially get things done quicker now without the pesky hassle of Congress getting in the way and waving that damn Constitution in his face all the time.
With everything he’s done however it seems that GOP actually did want to show their appreciation and most recently announced a little gift they’d prepared for him – a lawsuit. Can you believe the nerve, especially so close to his birthday? All they want to do is further congest the operations of Obama’s administration and make matters worse – not to worry though, telling a few jokes should ease the peoples mind as to the seriousness of Republican’s actions.
Obama isn’t worrying about any of that today though, after all, it is his birthday, and why should he? Instead, he took the day off and decided to hit the back 9 – that’s right, yet another, nice, relaxing round of golf is just the thing he needed after a year’s hard work – heck, I don’t see why he didn’t just take another 2-week, tax payer funded vacation with the family.
Now that you guys have had a moment to reflect on the year Obama has had and all the hard work he’s put in making the world a better place, feel free to leave us your thoughts in the comments below.
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