Glenn Beck: My Doctors Told Me I’m Being “Poisoned”

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March 20, 2014 3:07pm PST

As if life doesn’t have enough of its own complications imagine the shock you’d feel after learning you are being poisoned.  That’s exactly what happened to Glenn Beck after his doctor’s informed him of just that.

Beck describes that over the years, he’s been seeing several doctors and specialists trying to get to the bottom of a medical issue he’s been suffering through.  All of them seemed to convey a similar distinction saying, “it’s like you’re being poisoned.”

(See also: Glenn Beck Gives Scathing Review Of SOTU Address)

Trying to laugh off the coincidence, he even went so far as to joke about it being the result of George Soros at one point.  After doing a thorough search however, their tests came up with literally nothing harmful in his system and prompted him to seek more extreme measures to figure out his the cause of his apparent illness.

At his wit’s end, he had heard about the “cowboys,” over in Carrick Brain Center in Texas, and decided to shoot out there for a few tests. What the doctors found was shocking to say the least.  According to Beck, “So they ran all these tests, and they meet with me yesterday, and they said, ‘Well, basically, you are being poisoned.’”

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Even though he’d heard it all before, this diagnosis seemed to hit a little harder.  Coming back with a definitive result, the doctor’s explained, that it was food itself responsible for poisoning the famous news personality.  They soon informed him that, “I have to change my diet entirely. It is this bizarre string of events that have brought me to this place to where my body is actually, like, eating itself.”

Expressing his utmost contempt of the situation, he shared that the relationship he has with, “ice cream and processed food[s],” was soon to be over.  Asking the doctor’s if they meant something along the lines of a gluten free diet, the doctors hesitantly relayed, “Yeah, gluten free would be a good place to start.”

(See also: Glenn Beck: “Ted Cruz May be our Reagan”)

After the doctors had asked Beck if he was willing to stick to strict nutritional guidelines, and upon his approval, he was slapped with quite the pamphlet outlining his new diet.  It contained a list, the majority of which was foods he was no longer allowed to eat that paled in comparison the foods in which he was permitted to eat.

Listing just a few foods on the no-no list, The Blaze writes:

“Any kind of sugar, including agave, candy, chocolate, corn syrup, honey, maple syrup, molasses or sucrose … Dried fruits … Grains, including amaranth, barley, buckwheat, bulgur, corn, couscous, comet, millet, oats, rye, rice, spelt, wheat … All nuts and seeds … Cold cuts, condiments, emulsifiers, fillers, chewing gum … All dairy products and eggs, including butter, cheeses, cow’s milk, creams, any frozen dessert, goat milk, margarine, mayonnaise … All beans and legumes … Tomatoes, tomato sauce, all canned foods, coffee, and processed foods.”

As Beck read the list of foods that are sure to haunt his dreams, his co-hosts had quite the field day with it all.  Cracking jokes along the way, Stu Burguiere sarcastically stated, “I’m definitely selling my Kraft stock,” while Pat Gray poked, “So what can you eat? Kale?”

Beck, now fully exasperated by his circumstance, let out a depressing sigh saying, “I just don’t know how to do it. I just really don’t know how to do it.” He then put out a plea, to listeners tuned in, saying that he was in desperate need of a “really creative” chef.

(See also: Glenn Beck: I Played A Role In Tearing The Country Apart)

Beginning by offering quite the opportunity, he stated, “You’ll be traveling the world with me,” but went on to say, audibly irritated, that, “You get to be by my side all the time. Figure the fun you’re gonna have! Because I’m gonna like you a lot. Slop master.”

How shocked would you be to hear that food was poisoning you? How about that list of food he has to swear off? Let us know how this would make you feel in a comment below.

(H/T: The Blaze)

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